After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She made me pour olive oil on her.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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