Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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