i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
