I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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