so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
