I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
