I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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