Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
