how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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