hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
