i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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