I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize