I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
