I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
