This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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