I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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