whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
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