I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
