thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize