Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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