butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
