Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
