how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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