Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize