New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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