Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
