dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
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i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
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Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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