I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
