Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Soap is not a condiment
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Randomize
