I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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