Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We're too hungover to prance.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
