If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
