aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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