NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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