im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You ate ashes out of my bong
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
