DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize