I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
