I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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