Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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