Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
