If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
