i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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