i just wanna soil my oats bro
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
