I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
