I think scott just propositioned me for sex
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
