How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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