There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
