what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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