He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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