Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
