He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
