I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
