It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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