I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
