ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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