I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
