I am puke
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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