do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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