i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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