her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
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I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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