Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
