I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
