Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
