By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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